From "Pirates of the Caribbean"

The day before yesterday we went to watch "Pirates of the Caribbean 3", the movie - like all its parts - had many special things to tell and to entertain me..

But through out the movie dialogues, one scentence hit me really hard; when the crew was on a ship on their journey to (the other World's End) to save (Jack Sparrow) the crew felt they were starting to get lost in a journey where they don't know how the destination could be like, their Captain replied that sometimes you need to get lost in order to reach where you really want, other wise - if there was a defined path for everything in our lives - it could have been easy that all people would make your path before you do!

Though i can't remeber the exact words, but this i what he said, and i felt it was very true..

Not a Dream

I had this dream yesterday:

I was 15 years old, considered smart, and my teachers used to say i was wise for my age.. I learned a lot, i thank God for the success he granted me..
Suddenly I came to a place new to me, they didn’t speak my (language), I looked not like an alien to them, but just a foreigner. They forced me to attend the 2nd grade class, and start again repeating years and studies I already passed!! I tried to explain, but it seems my (language) is different, I try to scream, but I seem like the crazy girl objecting for being degraded to (heaven). I recline, enter the class, sit in the last row, have to accept the (teacher) dealing with me like I’m still a kid.
It was a hard feeling, indescribable; is it unjust? Foolishness? Their right for accepting foreigners? Or am I just getting crazy?!
I tried to scream, but this time just couldn’t, my voice betrayed me.

Finally, its not a dream, except that I’m not… 15 years old..

After Marriage Valentine

I received this on e-mail today; Ahmed Ragab's words about Valentine and Marriage..

Since me and my husband got engaged, we have our special dates where we celebrate, apart from the common ones, but yet we used to surprise each others with flowers on Valentines' day.. this year, it was hard to do any surprizes; we stay in the same place, we go everywhere together and we are strangers in this country, not really knowing what to do. Yet, i can say that celebration was really fun; not surprizing anymore, but more calm, we brought presents together and presents included useful items for the first time:) each one brought to the other a "mug" to share our tea together..

The Stranger

It (*) was standing alone, shouting like a crazy man
holding a sword
Fighting enemies that chain it
And making of their chains a shield to hide behind

To shield itself from hits
From wars
& from the challenges of life

As a stranger you came..
You fought my shields
My craziness
& my selfishness..

I was shocked..
Brought back to earth
Invited to a challenge
A challenge of rising from my sleep
of breathing your air
of taming my heart..

As a stranger I am to you
Lonely and mysterious
Awesome & crazy

I was afraid to step on your grounds
To know your game rules
To see the heart behind your smiles..

You invited it to take this challenge
A challenge in which it will aside all its weapons
Discover a new ground
That is neither mine nor yours..

***
(*) It; refers to my heart

***
Written those words, just a few days before 20.1.2005; when i said my first yes to my stranger..

Departure

One day, I tried to draw a picture of departure..

It came to my imagination to draw a sword, and then I said no, it’s not a sword..
It might be a cloud that blinds us from seeing each others..
Or it might be forgetfulness that the world has one soul, despite of our being on different continents..

I don’t know..

But if I would go to heaven
And if I was asked what I’d love to have at heaven
I’d say
All people I love, and chica
All of us together happy in a place
Without fears
Without fear of separation from each other

(Picture taken by author, winter 2004 @ Aswan )

Another new Day

This I tell to myself..

When the sun sets, its going to shine on a new horizon, follow it and do not sit lament the darkness..

On the blossoming of a new year, I thank you, who flourish my life…

وطنى

يا رب

اوعدنى ان تحملنى الى وطنى مرة اخرى




(picture taken winter 2005 @ aswan, by author)

Celebration

Celebration..

…
I stepped into the store of a wedding planner; for a few minutes; she didn’t realize I was there; she was occupied by cutting carefully a pink piece of cloth used to wrap a piece of chocolate for the celebration of a new born baby.. there were lots of them on her desk..

…

Its been over three weeks now for being too involved in the preparations..

Tiny details that take a lot of time, and I refuse to delegate them..

Different flowers for the church ceremony..

Two days spent to find that tiny thing that will be attached to the veil to decorate it

The dress

The shoes

His tie

The cards..

The survey done to choose the wedding center piece of the “bonbonnière”

I stayed two hours with that creative wedding planner to choose the “bonbonnière” wrapping; choosing each ribbon and flower; which ended up to be more expensive than the piece itself J

I can see it in my fiancé eyes: يا لينا حرام عليكى، تشترى الفرخة بجنيه و القفص بخمسة جنيه!!

I smile..

Think of all what’s happening, which has not yet ended..

I don’t feel “busy” , I am “living” “celebrating”

Looking at those “framed moments” in our living room, on my desk, with my friends..

I lived a life..

i celebrated a life..